Transportation Department
xxxxxxxxxxxx City Council,

Dear Sirs,

Advertising Sign

I wrote to you on 6 February (4 months ago) with a road safety concern. I attach a copy of that letter for your ease of reference.

I made what I thought were some very valid points. I set out the road safety risk. I even set out my understanding of the legislation with which this advertising sign fails to comply. I put these points politely and then I patiently awaited your reply.

In the meantime I have taken my life into my hands every morning as I leave for work. Every morning I have to stop and crane my neck through the sunroof like a demented giraffe so that I have some reasonable prospect of being able to see anything smaller than a double deck bus coming from that direction. Every morning some kind person takes pity and lets me out, but only after I have had to push the front of the car half way over their lane so that they can’t get past anyway.

Every morning I rush to the post falling through my letterbox in eager anticipation of a reply to my letters. Nothing. Not even the courtesy of an acknowledgement, or anything. Nowt. Zilch. Zippo. Positively a paucity of pertinent post.

Then yesterday morning, again I was doing the giraffe thing, and was so sure that the road was clear. I moved off slightly and… well, suffice to say that I was able to stop, and if the other driver had been half as dozy as most of the cretins I see on my way to work, I’d only be able to contact you with the aid of an ouija board. He swerved past me with millimetres to spare.

THIS JUNCTION IS DANGEROUS!

I hope that makes it clearer.

So I would be grateful if you would do me the courtesy of examining the locus and letting me know what you think. You could perhaps write back sometime soon, so that my concern at driving to work is not pre-empted by my retirement in 18 years.

Alternatively, you could perhaps let me know to whom I should send candles so that my letter can at least celebrate its birthday properly.

I look forward to hearing from you in due course.

Yours faithfully